It's the -I'll Give You Something to Suck On- episode! This one essentially serves as Ryan's personal therapy session as we discuss the whys, wherefores, and whences of that harsh mistress, Nicotine.

This episode runs about 58 minutes. The song at the end is -Candy Cigarette- by the Presidents of the United States of America.

It's the -$700 Billion Episode- episode! This time around we tackle bailouts, tax breaks, ladylove economy, and what it all means for the little people. Hey, finances = fun in our book! Right? Uh, right? Guys?

This episode is almost exactly 60 minutes long. The song at the end is -Folsom Prison Blues- by Johnny Cash.

It's the -Autoerotica- episode! This week it's all cars, horseless chariots, and vehicular madness. And sticking rods up your urethra, of course. You sick Peckers will love it!

If you haven't already, join the Peckerhead Army, virtually travel to foreign lands, meet interesting people, and viciously mock them on our messageboards at chickenfriedradio.com!

This episode runs about 67 minutes long. The song at the end is -Nitro Burnin' Funny Cars- by the Dead Milkmen.

It's the -A Modest Episode Episode-! We discuss all things irony and satire, lament our lack of links, and call it a day. Frankly, this one's pretty perfunctory, save for the impromptu ice battle somewhere in there. And no, geeks, we're not talking about anything Hoth-related, we promise.

Hang in there! Next episode is bound to be better, right? RIGHT? It's all about, um, cars. Anyway, this one clocks in at about an hour. The song at the end is -At a Medium Pace- by Opera Man.

Good night, and good luck.

It's the -Voltron of Doom- episode! Yes folks, the long-rumored on-again off-again affair that seems somehow to have been associated with the near total annihilation of the CFR universe is finally ready to be revealed! Run a stake through its heart, this episode is FINALLY dead.

This one's all about Germans and Japanese freakiness, friends. It features a Very Special Guest, a tangent or two, a plain-Jane .mp3 file, and a surprising dearth of scatological references.

This trainwreck has a little bit of lagniappe,  clocking in at about 1 hour and 14 minutes. Enjoy it or else.

It's the -Douchebags, Douchebags, Douchebags- episode! Why do douchebags get hot chicks? What's the douchebag/b-boy matrix? How do trannies fit into all of this? Do you like my new haircut? Fuckin' skanks!

This episode runs about an hour, and the song at the end is -Is She Really Going Out With Him- by Joe Jackson.

Okay, kids. We're doing something different this week. Abbie and T.E. are both out of town, and I'm too drunk to remember Ryan's phone number.

So now, you have NO CHOICE but to watch a few videos of my favorite band of all time. Much better than Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers, by the way (zing, T.E.!)

Anyhoo, without further doodoo, here's a taste of Ron and Russell Mael, aka Sparks:

"This Town Ain't Big Enough" from 1974's Kimono My House.

"Beat the Clock" from the groundbreaking 1979 album Number One In Heaven. Produced by Giorgio Moroder.

"Tips for Teens" from 1981's Whomp That Sucker. Produced by Mack (of Queen fame).

"I Predict" from 1982's Angst in My Pants. Directed by David Lynch.

"When Do I Get to Sing My Way" from 1994's Gratuitous Sax and Senseless Violins.

"The Rhythm Thief" from 2002's astounding Li'l Beethoven.

"Dick Around" from 2006's face-smash-in-ing Hello Young Lovers.

I'm gonna catch so much hell for this, so enjoy it, Peckers!
--Xian

It's the "Fear of Commitment" Episode! It's about being crazy, dig? As expected, Ryan, Christian, and Abbey veer way off-script and indulge in cautionary tales from their misspent youth. Wait--what's that? No T.E.? That's right, Peckers. It's the first and (so far) only truly T.E.-free episode. A kinder, gentler CFR? Or the ravings of three insane people without their caretaker to guide them? Pickle.

This one's 75 plus minutes, and 28 megs. Plus, this one's in the old-fashioned .mp3 format. 'Cuz we're crazy like that.

Listen to voices: Check out our website, our forum, our wiki, our cafepress swag, our myspace page, and download ringtones from myxer.com!

Another blast from the past to gear y'all up for a Very Special Episode coming soon. Episode 2 is the second and final of the pre-Huey days. Recorded in September 2005, I'm told the ep. bears the title "The 'Bad x9 Music' Episode" or something.  11.2 megs in girth. Do listen to The Shaggs if you're having doubts about starting that band. As always, come to www.chickenfriedradio.com and join the revolution!

It's the Least Worst of Volume III-2! Or something. Enjoy 35 minutes of warmed-over comedy meatloaf that you didn't finish when you ate episode 73. Compiled by Mad Captain Ian. Next week it's the Voltron of Doom episode, wherein we try to find out what makes the Axis Powers so twisted.

Always never forget to go here: www.chickenfriedradio.com or here: www.cafepress.com/chickenfriedrad. Oh, yeah. And we have pics here: www.flickr.com/chickenfriedradio.

It's the -Damn Dirty Hippie Episode- wherein we discuss all things hippie. And dirty. And damned. Prepare to be skeeved, aroused, in an altered mental state, and need a shower really really badly... all at once!

Next episode, we tackle the Voltron of Doom that is Germany and Japan. Call us at 678-FOWL-RANT or email us at jackasses@chickenfriedradio.com with your tales of foreign travel.

This episode has a little lagniappe, clocking in at about 76 minutes. The song at the end is -The Thing That Only Eats Hippies- by the Dead Milkmen.

"Hang In There: Part II"

This week, instead of producing an audio episode, we go the pull-something-out-that-we-saved-for-a-rainy-day route to present the stunning conclusion of our first story involving the gang at ConsumerLink!

Attention all mechapeckers!  It's been two years to the day since we last engaged in a self-congratulatory clip show, and frankly that is unacceptable.  Remember way back, when grains were kept whole?  When Uncle Ryan was around, and the idea of live broadcasts still sounded like a good idea?

It's the "Least Worst of CFR, Volume 3," wherein we meet the penis pump judge, learn what life would be like without the cow, and finally uncover the secrets of cult control.  All best bits from Episodes 30-44 for your listening pleasure.

This episode will occupy 77 minutes of brain space, and maybe, just maybe, teach you how to love.  The song is "Robots" by Flight of the Conchords.

Check out our website, forum, wiki, and swag store, not to mention our brand spanking new free ringtones from Myxer.com.

You've come a long way, baby! As promised in an earlier episode, here it is at last. For those new to the show, you'll be surprised to find that CFR's original format was somewhat thoughtful, occasionally erudite, and featured 34% fewer F-bombs. Listen as T.E. patronizes Ryan! Hear Ryan challenge T.E.'s chauvinism! Learn about Dead Groovy!

This was recorded way back in August 2005, when hurricane Katrina was a petite tropical storm, and there were only 12 Scary Movie sequels! It's about exactly an hour, and fills up 13.6 megs of your hard drive.

Check out our website, our forum, our wiki, our cafepress swag, our myspace page, and download ringtones from myxer.com!

It's the -Guilty Pleasures- episode! This time around, we talk about the things we love. Did I say love? I meant, that stuff, uh, sucks. Yeah, we don't like that stuff. It's, um, dumb and terrible and bad and- oh, who are we kidding? We love dreck and cheeze and crap!

This episode clocks in at 70 minutes. The song is -Barbie Girl- by Aqua. The enhanced podcast pictures are all furry and lovable. Oh, except that ONE.

It's the "CFR Sketches Compilation: part II!" It's the best of Crackhead Cosby, Coach Miller, Officer Trevino, Floofy, and all the others. Compiled from January 2007 to March 2008, this compilation includes every sketch the Jackasses recorded from episode 60 to episode 71. It's 55 minutes and 19 megs. For all you neo-Luddites, we're posting it as an old-school .mp3 file.
Don't forget to check out the ever-expanding wiki page here, and buy some non-useless CFR swag here!

It's the "CFR Rummage Sale" epsiode! Chicken Fried Radio cleans out the basement with leftover links and random unstructured statements that have no unifying theme. So, yeah... pretty much your standard-issue CFR episode.

This one clocks in at 61 minutes. The song at the end is "CFR Is Back" by Mayhem.

News! March was a banner month for CFR, just 2008 is beginning to look like the year we're finally gonna "turn the corner!"

Past *Our enhanced podcasts with images galore have been well-received, even though there seem to be some of you who don't know how to download codecs... :)

Present *April's "Pecker of the Month" is BrandNameCommercial! BNC developed a slew of CFR print ads that the Jackasses plastered all over downtown Austin during SXSW!

*We just debuted "Livin' the Dream," hosted by revver.com. Over 600 views as of March 31.

*Brand new, ginormous wiki at wiki.chickenfriedradio.com. More info about CFR than I know!

*Brand new, ginormous merch at www.cafepress.com/chickenfriedrad

*Podcastalley hates us more than ever. We're #7 in comedy, and about to put out a cigarette on the butt of Keith and the Girl!

Future *May 3, 2008 will find the Jackasses at San Antonio's PodCamp, starting at 8 AM. We'll probably still be drunk from the night before.

*TE will be reposting our very first shows during "off" weeks starting very soon.

*Just as soon as we get the code up, we're gonna start the I Has Canned Cheezburger-o-Meter, to raise funds for a website overhaul.

Other News *Abbie and Reuben have written a feature-length script, and are well into preproduction on the project.

It's a great time to be a creator and consumer of podcast comedy, and guess what? I'm typing this while at work!

Catch ya later, flatulators.

--Xian 2008.03.31

Six months late, but here it is, the first official Chicken Fried Radio vidcast. This release format is still in its experimental stages. BTW, each time you view one of our videos, we get a pinky nail closer to quitting our dayjobs.

Enjoy!

On July 7, 2007, Xian and Abbey tied the knot.  T.E. busted out his Swiss Army knife and sliced through it, which was good, since the knot was in Abbey's puppet hair.  Also, Ryan later serenaded us, Finn officiated, Reuben showed up for the free food and booze, and Craig looked on in horror.  It's the Jackass Wedding Spectacular '07 video, now available as an .mp4 for play on your iPod or portable media player of your choice.

It's the PSP Episode! But it's not what you're thinking, see. PSP stands for Public Safety Professionals! This one's all about cops, medics, and studly, incredibly attractive firefighters! No cats were dropped in the making of this episode.

This one runs about 62 minutes. The song at the end is "TSA Gangstaz" by, um, TSA Gangstaz. As an added bonus, EVERY IMAGE in our enhanced podcast is by T.E.'s favorite artist, Mark Ryden.

No one's yet complained about Christian using this RSS feed to pimp his college film school projects, so here's another!

Set in primitive times, circa 1997, Stupid and Lazy get carjacked was the brainchild of Christian Huey, Chris Kotrla, and Mark Henkin. So far the only access even we have to this video is through youtube (don't ask). Here's the link, in case you wanna see how hunky Christian was before his metabolism slowed.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2fSylctYbo&feature=related

Fasten your seatbelts, folks! It's the Deceptively Vanilla-Titled Alt Sex episode! It's all pee pee and poo poo and bicycles and bears... sort of like the circus of your dreams, you freak. If you value your job, you WILL NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES display the associated visuals from our enhanced podcast features at work!

This episode runs about 75 minutes. The song at the end is "The Dominatrix Sleeps Tonight," by Dominatrix.

<a href="http://www.podcastalley.com/"> My Podcast Alley feed!</a> {pca-2e5eeda16857513fd6021e79ce638cf8}

Back by popular demand! That means two people asked for it! It's that 1999 chestnut by Reuben and Xian, "The Freak Show: Boardroom of Doom!" Enjoy this pre-CFR nugget and wonder aloud why Reuben and Xian bothered in the first place. Check out the humble origins of Floofy, Mr. Man, the Dustmites, and the Space Hicks.  Now converted to mp4 format for all that watch-on-your-ipod goodness.

Back by popular demand! That means two people asked for it! It's that 1999 chestnut by Reuben and Xian, "The Freak Show: Boardroom of Doom!" Enjoy this pre-CFR nugget and wonder aloud why Reuben and Xian bothered in the first place. Check out the humble origins of Floofy, Mr. Man, the Dustmites, and the Space Hicks. Thanks again to the folks at megaupload.com for hosting the file. Download the 76 meg file from the following link: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=DG7SKD5Q

July 7, 2007 was an auspicious day for the Jackasses. Xian and Abbey tied the knot in Austin, TX, and T.E. was there to... uh, help. We didn't have a congregation, though; we had an audience. Follow the link below to download  the centerpiece of  that (un?)holy day. Consider it a taste of what's to come with our long-awaited CFR video project. Note: It's a big honkin' DivX file at 285 megs and 27 minutes long! http://www.megaupload.com/?d=V544XIGN

It's the "Scams and Flim-Flams" episode, all about, well, um, scams. And flim-flams. Can the Jackasses go an entire episode without the whole endeavor degenerating into chaos, madness, and debauchery? What do YOU think?

Oh, almost forgot to ask... wanna buy a watch?

This episode is bloated, clocking in at about 71 minutes. The song at the end is "Public Service Announcement" by Danger Mouse.

It's the "Invent a Better Title" episode, wherein we discuss all manner of inventions and big ideas! This is our second "enhanced" podcast replete with links and images that'll pop yer eyeballs out. Call us at 678-FOWL-RANT or email jackasses@chickenfriedradio.com to tell us what you think. This episode runs about 63 minutes. The song at the end is "The Edison Museum" by They Might Be Giants.

It's the "How Many Chromosomes Does It Take?" Episode! We take on mutants, freaks, and retards of all stripes to a Bananaphone backbeat. As an added bonus, it's our first ENHANCED podcast, complete with chapters, links, and disturbing images all baked right into the file!

This episode runs about 61 minutes. The song is "Watching Scotty Die," by the Dead Milkmen.

It's the Episode 65 Leftovers episode! We recorded so much lame crap on January 2, 2008, we couldn't possibly fit it all into one podcast! Enjoy. It's about 16 minutes.

During our extended hiatus, our unofficial retainer Mad Captain Ian developed a sister site of chickenfriedradio.com, at  http://cfrremix.podomatic.com/ Hosted by Ryantron 2300, Ian's CFR Remix project looks promising. Check it out, won't you?

Wise fwom yo gwave!
The Jackasses have returned from hibernation for an all-new 2008 season. This is the "This Time We Mean It" episode, wherein T.E., Christian, and Abbey make the case as to why 2007 should be totally stricken from the record. Featuring Reuben Barr in a new Freak Show sketch, and LCD Soundsystem's "All My Friends" as the closing song. This show is 67 minutes and change. Next time it's "How Many Chromosomes Does It Take..." as we ponder some of God's more outrageous practical jokes predicated among his children.
As T.Rex sang, "Hello. Hello. It's good to be back. It's good to be back. Hello. Hello. Hello." Hello!

2007 was shit, wasn't it? I could detail a whole laundry list of shit that went wrong for the Jackasses in aught-seven, but I don't know what a laundry list is.

Abs and me got married (we can call that a good thing), R-ben and Chris got divorced, people died, dogs died, strokes were had by people in their thirties, Xian and Abs got this nasty ass staph infection (that I still can't get rid of), I lost my job (but got a new one), and, oh yeah... We totally forgot to do Chicken Fried Radio.

CFR will be back to front in January, following two recording sessions: one on Jan. 2, and another on Jan. 8 for our video project. Meanwhile, R-ben and I have produced an embarrassment of written and recorded material mostly based on a drunken catchphrase that should fit well in a CFR context.

Those of you who stuck around, thanks. Those who jumped ship, who can blame ya? But, it's a new year, and a brand new opportunity to recruit a new batch of Australian teenagers to the Peckerdom.

T.E., Abbey, Xian, and yes, Ryan, and R-ben, and Mad Captain Ian, and our various co-conspirators all say KWAN-zaaaaaaaaa, Ram-a-DAAAAN, and happy '08. Cheers.

--Xian 2007.12.31